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”“I’d say you were right, Doctor.”“Let’s end here. I’m supposed to talk to her tomorrow. I’ll want to talk to you about how things progressed and how you broke it off.”“There were multiple times we broke it off.”“You did that, right? And she restarted it?”“That’s a fair assessment, yes.”“OK. I’m not surprised given what you’ve said. And I strongly suspect she’ll corroborate your account. What will she do when I tell her to destroy that towel?”“Doctor Mercer, I’d wear full body armor for the rest of my days. And hire a bodyguard. And seriously consider leaving the country. The planet, if you were able.”“That’s what I was afraid of.”November 5, 1991, Chicago, IllinoisAt the diner on Tuesday at lunch, I simply ordered my salad and said nothing else to Crystal other than a simple greeting. She gave me an odd look, looked like she was going to say something, then thought better of it. The same was true when she brought my food, and I ate while reading The Economist. I finished my meal,. One thing I knew for sure. I wanted my first one-on-one experience with another woman to be with Karen. I knew she was the one.My dilemma was huge. How to approach another woman to tell her you have feelings towards her?The last thing I wanted was to embarrass Karen, or to make her feel uncomfortable. Imagine if she rejected me. The humiliation would be too much to contemplate and possibly, maybe probably, destroy our friendship completely. The prospect was horrific, unthinkable.Not a single day passed by that I didn’t consider disclosing my secret. On several occasions I came close to declaring my hand. I’d painstakingly recite my speech, franticly going over and over it in my head. My carefully chosen words would be on the tip of my tongue, and then my lack of courage would kick in, leaving me red faced and unable to recall a single word.Powerless to find the courage to do anything about it, I did what I always do in times of uncertainty. I adopted my well-practiced ostrich mode..
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